I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
