i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
