I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize