Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
