What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
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My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
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WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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