So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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