bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
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So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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