sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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