One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize