Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
