i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
