his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
