We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
3 2 1 whiskey
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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