Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize