THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
