i permit you to call me
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
