I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
