And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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