I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
