I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
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This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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