ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
