respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
