You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
