im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
