consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
its liver damage thursday
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
