If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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