All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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