I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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