I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
