do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
