ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
