Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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