just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
