I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize