Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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