I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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