I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize