What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
