There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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