So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
