party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
