break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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