I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
