just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
