...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
They are going to name an STD after you.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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