Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
