I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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