I'm passing your future prison.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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