Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
