no, he came in my armpit
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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