I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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