Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
