K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
