so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
