it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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