Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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