UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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