So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
